A Year of Lessons Learned

It is 9/11 once again my friends! I’m turning 29, AGAIN…and I must say this past year has been a trying one. Probably one of the hardest years in my adult life. I always try to keep things in perspective. I try to stay positive and remember that God blessed me with another day and all of my limbs and my mind is right (but that’s relative). With all of that being said some days just flat out suck!

As I mentioned, this year has been interesting, to say the least. Like I said I’ve learned a lot. Some things good and some things…eh…not so good. But all lessons learned are good right? Right???

The first thing that struck home this year is how short life is and how fast time flies. I lost the only grandfather I knew in June. We weren’t very close and I can take some of the blame for that, but we were close enough. Close enough for me to wonder how I would describe him to my children. I still have a bookshelf that he made me (my first real bookshelf) and hope to someday pass that on to my little ones. He literally passed, in my grandparent’s home, in minutes.

Life is fleeting and you don’t realize it until you lose someone who is close to you. Death doesn’t impact you as much until you’re older. When the reality that you can be alive one minute and gone the next REALLY hits, it hits hard.

The second thing I learned is what family really is. I always thought family was blood or those people who married your blood. Family is more than that and at times less than that. For me, as an only child, most of my family is not blood related. My family has become my close friends. Whether I’ve known them for 20 years or 2 years, my “family” are those who have chosen to love me unconditionally. They are the friends who admit when they’re wrong and apologize. The friends you can argue with and then see each other again and it’s like nothing ever happened…no apology needed.

Your family is the group of people who help you through your day. Who, even when they’re tired and have their own struggles, make time for you…make the time to be your very own cheerleading squad.  The quote goes something like, they’re the people who know everything about you yet still choose to have you in their lives. Family isn’t blood. Family is the people who know the good the bad and the ugly and still stick around. You may not share genetics, but sharing tears, laughter, life experiences and a few bottles of wine can often bond two souls together more than blood ever could.

The third thing, family will disappoint you. I’ve had more interaction with my family the last year than I have in a while. I had a bag of mixed feelings. For me, family was always important. I always tried to reach out to my aunts and uncles and cousins…many times left wanting. After I realized family isn’t always blood (see above) it made the disappointment much easier to swallow. I’ve learned that disappointment by family is inevitable. It will happen. It is unavoidable no matter how many phone calls you make or emails & texts you send. Not everyone values relationships the same way you do…and that’s ok. At the end of the day, you will be let down…it may be your parents, stepparents, grandparents, aunts, uncles or whomever. What makes understanding this easier is if you know you did everything you could to save those relationships. If you did your part you should be able to sleep at night.

Number four…love is a bastard and most of the time too early or late to the party. You would think I would have learned this by now, but it didn’t quite sink in. I’ve had my share of relationships, but the last year has been a rollercoaster, maybe due to the mega-circus around me. Having an ex come back into your life almost 2 years later and profess his feelings is a shock and slightly annoying. Apparently 2 years ago we were at two different parties.

Then I dated a guy who was running a little early to the party, and then had to go home for his phone, therefore becoming late to the party is also a shock.  I’ve learned that love works on it’s own schedule. Whether it’s a six-month relationship or the love of your life…love does not care about your schedule. Sometimes you have to cut someone loose to give someone else a second chance. Sometimes, putting the hurt you experienced by a lover aside can be good. Sometimes, seeing if you’re at the same party at the same time can work. And by work I don’t mean rainbows, unicorns and a white picket fence. Sometimes, “working” means realizing it was never meant to be…and sometimes you see it was meant to be.

The fifth important thing I learned this year is that a job is just a job. Yes… I know…we all have bills to pay and at least one mouth to feed. At the end of the day it’s not the end of the world if everything at work isn’t going well. Sometimes you’ll have a gossipy co-worker, sometimes your boss will hate you or you have zero motivation for a few weeks. Unless you’re doing something you absolutely love, your job is just a job. Don’t let it stress you out. Don’t let the people associated with work make you start questioning who you are as a person or how talented or good you are at you work. Don’t let your work overshadow the important things in life. You can always find another job…even though interviewing sucks!

The sixth and final thing I’ll bore you with today is, people will do and say things just because they can. I don’t mean jokes or compliments or regular everyday banter. I’m talking about the playground gossip, the twisting stories just to make it more interesting, the ex from 10 years ago who calls just to make your skin crawl. People do things because as humans and Americans we have free will. I don’t always like it, but its part of life. We have no control over what others say and do. The only thing we have control over is how we react. Needless to say the reaction part is the part I have yet to master.

I may not have mastered my immediate reaction to them, but I have mastered how it makes me feel. Even though, many times, I’d like to give people a piece of my mind…I’ve learned to let most of it go. In fact, I look at it as a compliment now. I’m so important and impact their life in such a way that they can’t hold back their desire to talk or tell stories about me…or to call or text me. The urge and feeling is so strong they must take action. The fact that most of the time I couldn’t care less gives me more control than they could ever have…and that’s a great thing to learn!

So as I sit here, waiting to meet with one of my “non-blood family members”, I can’t help but to have positive thoughts about the future. Yes, today is not going down in the record books as one of my best, but it is going down as a day of great reflection. A day that I was able to look back and see that when life is hard and everything seems to be going wrong there is a light. Relationships my have been severed, family lost, loves lost, work-life balance is teetering, and gossip talked about me, but I’ve learned something. Nothing is better than learning about life.

My official celebration with loved ones may be Saturday, but my personal celebration is today.

God let me wake up this morning and live another day and I intend to make the last few hours of my day great…because I have complete control of how I feel. And at the end of the day, things could always be a lot worse. 




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You Cain’t Fix stupid, but You Can fix…

You can’t fix stupid… Many a men (and women) have said those words. Until this week I thought you might not be able to fix stupid, but you can guide stupid. Apparently, I was wrong.

I’ve had several people the last several months ask why AvoChron has been in hibernation. Honestly, there was so much to write about and it takes time and I’ve been happy living life. That being said, I’m now angry and have a lot to say.  So hold on to your chonies or britches…whichever you prefer.

This week Bowe Bergdahl was released by terrorists in exchange for FIVE terrorists. I refuse to distinguish Bergdahl with a military title as of today. As it stands, I don’t feel he deserves a military title. According to anyone with any knowledge of this man and his time in the military he gave up that honor and privilege.

As of today, June 3, 2014, Marine Sgt. Andrew Tahmooressi has been in Mexican custody for 64 days, for making a wrong turn. I would actually consider this a kidnapping. He made a wrong turn and instead of allowing this American hero to turn around, Mexican officials took him into custody.

This is the same Mexico that allows and condones the illegal immigration of millions of Mexicans into America.

This is the same country that refuses its "rejects" to be returned and refuses to take back the social rejects they don’t want to provide for.

This is the same corrupt country that is run by drug cartels that we have given guns.

The same guns that kill our border patrol agents, many of whom are former military (look up “Fast and Furious” or “BP Agent Brian Terry” if you’ve been living in a cave). 

The same country that reaps the benefits of millions of American dollars in tourism and business every year… not to mention our drug money!  Needless to say, they owe us some favors.

Now back to how you can’t fix stupid.  I’m cringing as I write this…President Obama felt it was necessary to act on Bergdahl but not Sgt. Tahmooressi.  This boggles my mind.

Every day hundreds of Mexicans get into America illegally by wading across the Rio Grande River.  We’re that close! People literally walk across the border. Not only that, but depending on which cell phone provider you have you can even call Mexico with no international fees! It’s like calling my grandmother in Abilene...and as stated before, Mexico owes us some favors. So they should be send Sgt. Tahmooressi back... let him wade across the Rio Grande.

How stupid do you have to be to not pick up the phone or jump in your blow-up paddle boat to retrieve a man who actually served our country honorably? 

How stupid do you have to be to not even acknowledge the fact that Mexico who is entirely in debt to Americans is in the wrong?

How stupid do you have to be to think that releasing FIVE known high level terrorists is not a good idea?

Deep down inside I was praying that the disdain and heartlessness Obama shows for our troops and country would carry over to these terrorists. Secretly, I was crossing my fingers that the second we had the deserter Bergdahl in American custody Obama would signal one of our wonderful snipers to take out the terrorists and their friends who picked them up from the airport.

Deep down inside I prayed that the same day Obama would also announce he made a phone call and Tahmooressi was on his way home to his family and would be able to receive the care he needs.  If this man was even a tenth of the man he thinks he is that’s what he would have done. But like I said you can’t fix stupid.

What is even more disturbing is that, according to a news poll, 80 percent of Americans feel that the Bergdahl deal should not have been made. Eighty percent!  

I can’t remember the last time 80 percent of Americans agreed on anything!  

I also saw another news poll that said 75 percent of people feel Obama should get Tahmooressi back.  Keep in mind about 10 percent of those polled claimed to not be completely informed on the topic.

According to news polls Obama did the wrong thing according to the American people. At the end of the day the American people are who he works for.  Had he gone through the correct channels to get Bergdahl back Obama would know this…but you can’t fix stupid.

What is even more confusing is that Obama went against people in his own party and in his cabinet to do this.  This is where the leading of stupid people would normally come into play.  Most stupid people can be easily influenced by those around them.  Most stupid people are too concerned with what other people think to go against them. Most stupid people are merely sheep.  Easily herded to their next destination.

I’ve now come to the conclusion that Obama is in fact not stupid! My other suspicions have been confirmed…Obama is anti-American, anti-military, he is a liar (see his 2008 speech where he said he would never rule by Executive Order) and most importantly he thinks he is a dictator.  Yes, Obama was elected into office by Americans, other than myself, but in his mind he thinks he knows better than the American people. In his mind he thinks his way is the only way.

Since you can’t fix stupid we now have to fix arrogance and manipulation. Our country has now found itself in a pickle. Some Americans, who I presume are actually stupid, voted in someone who doesn’t think his job is to serve the American people. This is something we can fix.

This “fix” starts from the bottom up. The last several years I’ve been able to see how politics works.  I’ve worked on campaigns, I’ve met and spoken with candidates and elected officials.  I’ve learned that to fix our problem, we cannot be stupid.

I also think we, as Americans, need to study history, learn it, and know it.  I had someone make a snarky comment once about my being a history major. They said “history isn’t political science”. They’re right…knowing history is even better.  Political science is the study of politics and government. That’s great and I’m sure they learn a lot about how government and politics work.

Learning about history opens your eyes to a whole new world…literally and figuratively. It helps you to interpret the past. You learn how to collect information and apply it to different situations, often political. You learn about different trends in countries and how past decisions have influenced a country’s current state.  History teaches people to look outside of their small world and look at the bigger picture.

Seeing all sides of the bigger picture and making a good, moral and just decision is all part of fixing stupid.  Once we fix stupid, we can put people in power who think like we do and actually work for the American people.

We’ll have someone who knows the difference between a deserter and hero.

So get your history books out and see why we don’t negotiate with terrorists. Get your history books out and learn as to why the constitution was written in the manner it was written.  Get your history books out and learn why the office of the President is not the end all and be all. Do the research and fix your own stupid. Once we fix stupid in our small worlds we’ll be able to help fix stupid everywhere…and if we don’t fix it we can at least guide it.

visit www.theavocadochronicles.com